All of us think
about friends in terms of their loyalty to us.
We may feel that with our real friends we don't have to be fussy
with words or deeds. They'll understand. And, if we screw up,
our true friends will forgive us.
But it's also possible that our acceptance of their loyalty keeps
us from accepting something really valuable from our friends:
criticism.
When an enemy or a stranger challenges something we say or do,
we fight or run. When a friend makes a critical comment, we're
often resentful.
The next time
a good friend is critical, instead of snarling silently ("Just
who the hell does he/she think he/she is?"), it might be
useful to imagine that the person was only trying to be your
friend.
Most of us would do well to toughen our hides and welcome a little
frankness from our friends. It would probably also benefit most
of us to consider the courage it takes for them to even take
a chance on critiquing us. We can be pretty hard to help.
When we're
all wrapped up in ourselves, it makes a pretty sorry package.